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Do you hear that?
It’s getting louder!
It’s the steady tick-tock of the clock winding down.
St. Valentine’s Day is almost here, and time is running out for great ideas. You guys are going to be either the hero or the goat come the 14th.
I was doing drills this past weekend in Louisville with my Army Reserve unit. Yet my mind was preoccupied by this subject. I had no idea what to get Cindy. So I did what all men do in cases like this. I asked another guy for advice.
My personal advisor in all things romantic is Major John Schwab.
“What’s wrong, Begley?”
“Well, being the resident pretty boy of the house I have to maintain my reputation and come up with a really great Valentine’s Day gift for Cindy. Help me out Major. What says I really love you for $20?”
“How about a couple of fried baloney and egg sandwiches from the Five Star and a Wal-Mart bargain bin DVD movie?”
“Nah, I did that last year. I need something original. Women are just so hard on guys. What did you do for Lynn last year?”
“I taught one of my three German Shepherds a funny new trick. Then I showed it to her and all of the family when they came over to the house that night. It was a riot.
“What was the trick?”
“I got the dog out in front of everyone and said to it, ‘Act like Lynn!” Then the dog would start growling and foaming at the mouth.”
“I see. How did that go over?”
“About as well as your fried baloney and egg sandwiches.”
“Why do you have those three big mangy dogs anyway?”
“Because my in-laws hate big dogs.”
After a thoughtful pause Major Schwab said, “Do you know what I’m going to do this year?”
“Well, I’m going to go to the Dollar Tree and get a great big empty flower vase on February 13th then I’m going to wait until dark and . . .”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute. I hope this idea isn’t going to end up with you running around some moonlit graveyard looking for flowers to put in the vase.”
Major Schwab paused, locked eyes with me for a second, then said, “I think it’s time we got back to work.”
What to do, what to do?
Hey ladies, is your resident “pretty boy” having trouble deciding what to get you for St. Valentine’s Day? Why don’t you help out the poor guy and give him a suggestion? After all, we’re only men, and have a low level of intelligence. You know we need all the help we can get.
I’ve even got a suggestion.
The Central Kentucky Community Theatre is putting on the hilarious play about the fictitious Catholic “Sisters of Hoboken” called Nunsense II.
It’s at the Opera House in Springfield on Feb. 13-15. It starts at 7 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights and 2 p.m. on Sunday afternoon. They will do a repeat performance on Feb. 27, 28, and March 1 at the same times.
The tickets are reasonably priced ($15 adults, $12 seniors, and $10 for children) and it’s worth every penny for a two-hour show of song, dance and especially comedy. The talent level is every bit as good as the Derby Dinner Playhouse in Louisville at a fraction of the cost. The best part is you don’t have to leave Washington County for it.
Besides, it’s really neat to go to something different every now and then.
Veteran theatre performers Jan and Scott Fattizzi, using local talent, run the Central Kentucky Community Theatre. Last year they put on this musical play’s precursor called Nunsense. It played to packed audiences. About 1,000 people saw this play over two separate weekends. You don’t get that many people out there if it isn’t good.
Well, most everyone is back with Mother Superior (Margaret Chelf - St. Dominic 5th grade teacher), Sister Mary Hubert (Inez Grider - St. Dominic 8th grade teacher), and Sister Robert Anne (Jan Fattizzi - St. Dominic music teacher). This play also has two returning high school students playing Sister Amnesia (Catherine Ball) and Sister Mary Leo (Charlotte Campbell).
There are a total of 23 musical numbers and the comedy bits are great.
The singing is excellent. Catherine and Charlotte really have incredible voices for such young performers. But you haven’t lived until you see Margaret sing “What would Elvis Do” with Inez dancing as the go-go girl in a sister’s habit. Her students might want to bring cameras for this one scene.
Still the real comedy talent is Catherine Ball playing Sister Amnesia. You will never believe this kid is about 14 and playing the role better than what I’ve seen in live theater productions with adults.
If you’re Catholic, you’ll laugh! If you’re not, then you’ll laugh louder!
It’s a date!
See you there!